The Nap Window

I know it's been a while since last I posted, and there's a perfectly good reason for that. I was thinking, ruminating if you will. Because for a topic that concerns napping one must be oh so careful. Like a brain surgeon's hands must be steady as he slices into the grey matter of his unwitting, though awake, patient, or how an ice sculptor must chip every so lovingly away at her slab of ice as each tap brings her ice-dolphin closer to realisation. So too must I be controlled and well considered when discussing naps. Because after all, isn't napping, brain surgery and ice sculpting sort of exactly the same thing?

And it is with this logical, contemplative state of mind that I approach my next topic. The nap window.

What is "The Nap Window"? It seems to me that the best naps tend to occur between mid-afternoon and early evening. This is not to discount the glory of the "get up early, attend to errand then return to bed before noon", but I'm sure most people would agree such an activity is rare in the nap world.

In saying this we must then concede that as early evening stretches on towards late evening the sensible time for napping slips from our grasp. Sure, you could nap at 9:30pm if you wanted, but to what purpose? You'll just wake up at 11:30pm, scared, dehydrated and condemned to hour upon hour watching Heidi Klum smearing cream on old ladies or being continually unsure of what nationality Benny Hinn actually is.

Sure, my last post discussed the idea of 'napping on the wild side', and there is a time and place for such activities, when we're young and full of beautiful ideas but that's not for everyone. Indeed, it's not even for the majority of people.

And so we're forced then to conclude that, when applying a reasonable code of conduct to napping, that such a nap window does exist and it's better to go while the getting's good than be subjected to waking hours full of loneliness and late-night TV, a hell that a good night's sleep will ever safeguard us from.

Napping On The Wild Side

Napping On The Wild Side

Yeah yeah, naps are awesome. Why would I write a blog about them if they weren't? They're more than a hobby. They're a conveniently short and healthy INSTITUTION, helpful in retrieving precious energy expended on the many pursuits of life.

But what if the humble nap isn't enough? As the fervour to nap in new and interesting ways set in (and to those who are new to napping, such a fervour WILL come rapaciously!) you will start wondering how to spice up your nap-life?

Well I have the answer for you. No, don't attempt to fall asleep in a den full of hammerhead sharks, and let me tell you Napsville, Tennessee does NOT endorse going in search of the illusive 'mirco-sleep' in order to get your fix of extreme napping. We got something better for you:

Have a nap and...don't set an alarm!!!

WHOA!

You'll wake up, dis-oriented, groggy and likely scared, possibly even violent. What time is it? How long have I slept? Who am I? Is this madness? All these questions and more will flood into your mind in a confused and likely unpleasant fashion.

Don't worry though, soon reality sets in and you discover that all is as it should be. The only difference is you've just taken a step into a brave new world.

Happy napping.

- Napoleon

Slumbering Celebs

Even the most famous of us need to sleep! Here's a few examples:














Look, here's some people you might know...



















Little Suri Cruise, all tuckered out!














And little Tobey MacGuire, dreaming of that upside down kiss he had with Kirsten Dunst.













Oh little Paris Hilton! Burning the candle at both ends AGAIN?!?

So you see, even those far more rich, important and beautiful than we'll ever be need a little afternoon sojourn in slumber town. Sweet dreams guys, sweet dreams...

Also, when looking up 'sleeping celebs' on google this came up:





















It's a crazy world. Happy napping everyone!!

The Humble Hammock: An afternoon recliner, or a Death Trap?!

Hammocks

Sure, we love them. What's better than entwining yourself in a comfortably woven hammock in the peak of the afternoon. Feeling the gentle breeze drift over and through you as your thoughts turn to dreams and you sail off into your sub-conscious? Or what about the Tropical Evening Nap? With the electric insect lamp softly crackling in the background as you enjoy your moment of repose on an island get away.

But let me ask you this. What if your blissful dreams turn sour, as can happen in the course of a nap. Nothing good is without risk and your sleeping mind may be set upon by a bad dream, like rabid crows diving on the rotting carcass of deer by the road (the crows being a bad dream and the carcass being your sub-conscious mind). Unable to fight back, your slumbering body tosses and turns, like a ship in stormy water, trying in vain to fend off your dreams turned sinister! And at the climax, when the hammock you are nestled within is sent into a violent pendulum motion by your uncontrollable writhings...CRASH! You are ejected, at best, onto the soft lawn below you and at worst, down into the fiery chasm over which you slung your hammock with care.

Clearly, either alternative to a good day-dream gone nightmare (hammock style) is something to be avoided at all costs. And while such an eventuality seems unlikely, what with all the safety precautions built into the modern day hammock these days (such a thing hasn't actually happened to me or anyone I know, YET) it seems to this humble blogger that such a fate is just WAITING to befall anyone brave enough to climb into a hammock. So, here is my solution to said problem:

BEHOLD! THE NAP SACK!
(or Afternoon Cocoon)

Now there's a better way to hammock-nap without the constant fear of being flung off onto the filthy, cold ground. What I propose is two hammocks, connected together with a zip, that allows the napper to get inside and securely seal themselves in. Now you can sleep, suspended in the air, in any manner you want, without the fear of falling out. Feel like a caterpillar, snug in its cocoon, and when you awake, you can inact all sorts of fantasies where you've metamorphed into some sort of beautiful (or for the men, dangerous) butterfly.

The future is here people.

An Introduction

Hi,

My name is Grand Master Nap, or Napoleon, or Mr. Nap, or Captain Nap-Beard, and as this blog progresses I guess I'll think of more nap related puns and monikers.

So one day I was thinking to myself 'everyone has a blog except me'. Now I'm not saying you need a blog to feel complete, and in all likelihood this one will fall by the wayside when I discover some other shiny bauble to distract me but I won't worry about that just yet.

Anyway, as an inner dialogue blossomed in my mind I found myself asking 'What on earth would I write a blog about anyway, if indeed I had one. There are way too many music blogs around for anyone to pay any attention to mine. All my friends have kickass blogs about cool things, and I wouldn't want to ride on their coat-tails. No, no. What I write about must be important and integral to myself! It must be a keen interest of mine. Something very close to my heart... Then it came to me.

Naps.

I love em. They're the best. So many ways to have them. So many ways to augment the already enjoyable napping experience. It's a way of life.

And so here is a blog about napping. Hope you like it.