Wednesday, July 14, 2010

The Humble Hammock: An afternoon recliner, or a Death Trap?!


Hammocks

Sure, we love them. What's better than entwining yourself in a comfortably woven hammock in the peak of the afternoon. Feeling the gentle breeze drift over and through you as your thoughts turn to dreams and you sail off into your sub-conscious? Or what about the Tropical Evening Nap? With the electric insect lamp softly crackling in the background as you enjoy your moment of repose on an island get away.

But let me ask you this. What if your blissful dreams turn sour, as can happen in the course of a nap. Nothing good is without risk and your sleeping mind may be set upon by a bad dream, like rabid crows diving on the rotting carcass of deer by the road (the crows being a bad dream and the carcass being your sub-conscious mind). Unable to fight back, your slumbering body tosses and turns, like a ship in stormy water, trying in vain to fend off your dreams turned sinister! And at the climax, when the hammock you are nestled within is sent into a violent pendulum motion by your uncontrollable writhings...CRASH! You are ejected, at best, onto the soft lawn below you and at worst, down into the fiery chasm over which you slung your hammock with care.

Clearly, either alternative to a good day-dream gone nightmare (hammock style) is something to be avoided at all costs. And while such an eventuality seems unlikely, what with all the safety precautions built into the modern day hammock these days (such a thing hasn't actually happened to me or anyone I know, YET) it seems to this humble blogger that such a fate is just WAITING to befall anyone brave enough to climb into a hammock. So, here is my solution to said problem:


BEHOLD! THE NAP SACK!
(or Afternoon Cocoon)

Now there's a better way to hammock-nap without the constant fear of being flung off onto the filthy, cold ground. What I propose is two hammocks, connected together with a zip, that allows the napper to get inside and securely seal themselves in. Now you can sleep, suspended in the air, in any manner you want, without the fear of falling out. Feel like a caterpillar, snug in its cocoon, and when you awake, you can inact all sorts of fantasies where you've metamorphed into some sort of beautiful (or for the men, dangerous) butterfly.

The future is here people.

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